Whatever She Said

Happy New Years!!

I hope you got a kiss from someone special this year. Or at least partied your butt off.

Have you ever noticed that the premise of new years eve is to do everything that your new years resolutions tell you not to do?

Let’s say you resolve to lose weight. On New Year’s Eve you drink your weight in champagne and most likely stop by taco bell or 711 on your way home for a late night meal.

Let’s say you resolve to drink less. See above. See below (hehe found this online).

Let’s say you resolve to be more responsible. On New Years Eve people are encouraged to kiss strangers and spend a ton of money in order to get into the hottest party that they can’t afford. I guarantee that everyone has at least one story from each new year’s eve that is completely irresponsible. For example, two years ago I threw my dear friend’s phone into the ocean in a fit of extreme excitement (Sorry Lindsay).

re-enactment. (actually from the world phone throwing competition wtf)

Let’s say you resolve to save money. On New Years Eve you are wearing a new outfit ($100) drinking champange ($40), ordering cabs ($50), attending an exclusive party ($200), replacing lost phones ($50), bailing your roommates out of jail ($400), the best new years ever (priceless??).

If you are curious my new years resolution is to cook more of my own food instead of ordering from restaurants. It is a really fun resolution. I have also resolved to clean my apartment before it gets messy.

Would you donate your face???

My boyfriend says he would donate his eyes or his nose, but the whole face is just too weird. I think that eyes and a nose are a little weird too… I’m still undecided. I would donate internal organs for sure. But I don’t know about facial features. what do you think? Here is an article about the face transplant:

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/12/18/health/s18face.html?hp

In case you are living under a rock: President Bush was giving a speech in Iraq yesterday when a journalist chucked two shoes at his head. Crazy. The first thing I noticed was how quickly Bush reacted. He ducked like a professional boxer. Do they train the president in this art? Check it out for yourself:  

watch?v=ovoTgUCf7_E

That video shows it in slow-mo too.

By RH

I encountered one of my biggest pet peeves yesterday while watching the football game at Barney’s Beanery on Third Street . 

I was washing my hands in the bathroom when suddenly my face went white. There were no paper towels in sight. Nor were there any paper towel dispensers. Could it be true? Was Barney’s really going to force me to endure one of my biggest pet peeves? I turned to find the answer to my question mounted in the wall in the form of a “hand blow dryer”. Noooooooooooo!

After scoffing and looking around for a sympathetic eye from the other girls in the bathroom, I stomped over to the dingy old machine. I could see a distorted image of my scowling face in the metal spout that would soon be pouring air onto my soaking hands. I punched the little button with the back of my hand and then the horrible “drying” process reminded me of why i seriously hate these machines.  THEY DO NOT DRY YOUR HANDS. They only make them cold and blow little drops of water onto your legs. I want to do an experiment and see how long it would take to dry my hands by using one of those machines. I feel like it might take longer than if I held out my hands in stagnant air. 

On top of that, public restrooms are disgusting.  I like to use paper towels to wipe the soapy germs off of my hands. I don’t want them to dry on me!

Does anyone else feel this way about hand blow dryers? Jackie?

By RH

Caroline Kennedy is a Bad Ass. I hope she gets the Seatorial Seat in New York now that HillDog is Secretary of State. 

Sometime in the 80s Caroline Kennedy got wasted with her cousins in Hong Kong and ended up losing a dare. The punishment for losing: getting a tattoo. Who the hell actually goes through with that? Bad Ass Caroline Kennedy does. Apparently she allowed some 1980s Hong Kong tattoo artist to ink a butterfly on her inner-arm. Reports say that she got it partially removed (partially? whats the point?), but that doesnt make her any less of a bad ass.

Now it would have been a little bit more hard core if she chose a tattoo of a dragon eating a baby or maybe one of those intricate belly-button tattoos that end up looking like droopy stomach hair once you let yourself go:

I perosnally like the butterfly.

Some of Caroline’s opponents are trying to use this drunken tattoo as a reason to keep her out of the Senate. But I think it shows her to have a quality that is very important in a leader: she follows through. 

If I haven’t convinced you yet, just check out this pic of her as a kid:

Bad Ass in the Making

I went to Venice Beach last night to buy a pair of Toms shoes. And now I feel fantastic.

They are pretty snazzy. They are like slippers that are acceptable to wear out in public (not that I have ever been shy about doing that).

But the really cool part is that for every pair of shoes you buy, one pair will be given to children who do not have shoes. So far they have given 50,000 pairs to children in South Africa and 10,000 to children in South America.

Cute!

A Hipster told me that Tom was on the Amazing Race and noticed how many kids were barefoot. And think about how many illnesses you can get from walking around barefoot all the time.

—For some reason I just got a flash back to that scene in Home Alone when Marv, that bad guy, is walking up the stairs and steps on a nail with his bare feet–

AHHHHHHHHHHHH

If you need a new pair of shoes, why not check out Toms Shoes:

1617 Abbot Kinney Boulevard

Venice Beach CA

-or-

Tomsshoes.com

-RH

When I started college in 2004 Facebook was still in diapers. I had no idea it would still be around 4 years later, or that it would be a huge resource for potential employers.  All I knew was that the more friends I had, the cooler I was. And if my friends poked me, I was even cooler.

So here I am, 4 years later and with 683 Facebook friends that I cannot possibly care to stay in touch with.

It’s not really my fault though; I got burnt out. But I didn’t give up (god no). I would rather lose my license than my Facebook account. (Not really but finding out that Becca Lauterbach was getting married via Facebook was damn near priceless). The problem is that for those of us not engaged, we’ve run out of ways to keep our “friends” entertained. Yeah I could throw a sheep at them or stick a bumper sticker on their wall, but it’s hard work staying on top in the news feed. Well here’s your solution.

Sync your Twitter updates with Facebook.  I’m freaking serious. If you are on Twitter, get that shit synced up. (And if you aren’t, get with the program.) You’ll start getting wall posts again (am I the only one who stopped getting them?) So here’s your proof:

If that doesn’t inspire you, I’m not sure what will. But don’t take my word for it. Ask Matt.

-JM